i would like to
sink into a hot bath
the same way i melt
into the early darkness
that pairs with winter.

sometimes i escape
raw weather by
going to house parties
with strangers and peering
through their bathroom cabinets
smoking and drinking and
seeping into the wallpaper
like a stain from a photo that used to hang
above the fireplace.

if the world were perfect
i could peel off
my skin and watch
it flake to the floor
and sweep it up later.
anew.