begging by Tanya Azari

it’s 2019 so my New Year’s resolution is to only make
decisions on my period. in March it comes hard and fast,

twice. all the bills still get paid, the countertops
wiped down. i started eating again and now

i can’t seem to rid myself of this hunger. i’ve decided

i don’t want my life to be hard anymore,
and i don’t want my basil to die.

there is so much love inside of me i can barely even think
for the sound of it. i still haven’t stopped

trying to give of myself to others; it’s turned away in a way
that makes me believe i am bad. all i want is a beautiful

softskinned girlfriend and a six-figure job
i’m not qualified for—is that really too much to ask?

Tanya Azari is an MFA candidate in Creative Writing (Poetry) at NYU. They have been
published in 7×7, Drunk in a Midnight Choir, Tinderbox Poetry Journal, and elsewhere. Tanya
currently lives, writes, and bikes in Los Angeles, where they also teach flying trapeze classes.
Their work can be found at

Vagabond City Literary Journal

Founded in 2013, we are a literary journal dedicated to publishing outsider literature. We publish art, prose, reviews, and interviews from marginalized creators.