To Illness, With Love

i am sorry that i broke you or used you to break myself i am
sorry for the commotion that followed i am
sorry about the quotidian pain like a skipping record i am
sorry for the pills thrown in a blender to help us i am
sorry for waving your laundry in the faces of my friends i am
sorry for showing you up or off i am
sorry i don’t know what to do with you i am
sorry that i still set you a placemat at the table i am
sorry for the damned chalice you make me i am
sorry that i can only cauterize with gasoline i am
sorry for what i have fed you to i am
sorry i put up your postcards and forgot them i am
sorry for taking everything away and calling it love i am
sorry i told you this was a good thing i am
sorry i am sorry i am

Leela Srinivasan is an MFA student at the Michener Center for Writers at the University of Texas at Austin. Originally from the Jersey Shore, she holds a BA in Psychology and MA in Communication from Stanford University, where she wrote and published a collection of psychological poetry as her undergraduate honors thesis. She currently lives in Austin, Texas.