There is no beautiful way to say some things.
You left and then I was sad. Around me, June
fell like little droplets, imbibing life into an
empty canvas. I wish you could love me
the way I wanted you to. These days I can’t help
but mourn it all: the black cat I had growing up,
the best friend who moved away, the boy
I promised I would marry. In the end, it all
escapes me over and over again. I do not learn
that I can’t hold running water. I thought
showing you the truth would make you leave
but you didn’t need to see anything. I miss you
with an ache that lives in the kitchen cupboards.
Every night I open them and wonder about the
kind of person I am becoming. I eat a lot but
I’m never full. I don’t occupy a space anymore,
I’ve become a peripheral girl. Perhaps that is
for the best. I think it’s the only way you can love me,
you know, when you can’t see all of me.
Vaneeza Sohail is a writer with roots entangled deep in Karachi. Her work has been published in Diode Poetry Journal, Wildness Journal and is upcoming in Driftwood Press and Passages North. When she isn’t writing, she’s giving her cat Dipper a little kiss.