Strap on the seatbeat
as you leap off the cliff. 
Rinse the recyclables so they sit
on a landfill. 
Never raise your middle finger
because you can’t take it back. Be careful.
Did you bring an extra pack of tissues. You quit
smoking ten years ago and you hate vegetables secretly.
You want to walk with Marco, who lived across
North Boulevard on the other side of 80th Street
where kids play handball past dark and the homegirls
have funky mullets with the sides buzzed.
Marco tells you he never has to be home,
that he drinks beer with his friends under the BQE. 
You’re ashamed of your private school dress code
and he’s the one happy. 
But you snuck out of the house, didn’t you. 
You’re weaving through dark blocks with Marco,
your fingers touching. Who will reach out first.
Not you. You are not happy. Let Marco do it, shit.
And he does. And then his tongue is in your mouth
and you don’t know what to do with the sugary soda
taste, how he presses against you so you feel how much
he wants you. 
That was happy. You weren’t doomed. Marco’s hand
on your hips, 
pulling you close and away from the edge.

Aida Zilelian is a first generation American-Armenian writer, educator and storyteller. She is the author of novels THE LEGACY OF LOST THINGS and ALL THE WAYS WE LIED. Her work has been featured in Red Hen Press (anthology of immigrant writing) Phoebe, West Texas Literary Review, Sand Hills (finalist in 2024 contest), and others. Her debut poetry chapbook DISSONANCE (2025) won the Swan Scythe contest.