After Alessia Di Cesare

the pine trees stayed the same shade of green and the thing is that i love you again.
it’ that it hangs in my throat until we have glitter on our feet and sand in our eyes.
that it was me breaking sticks and watching you shoot arrows, that i tried to tell you but all i could do
was write you five pages and kiss you underneath the blanket atop our heads.
i am sick from the sweetness you gave me,
but even more nauseous from missing you all this time.
you take sips of my soup and all you bring is heart palpitations.
it never stopped, i never stopped.
i told you it was too much on new years three years ago,
back when all we were was summer boys in wrong bodies,
when my hair was silver and lavender and the only time we touched was when you hugged me
goodbye
but we kissed behind your couch two new years ago,
and this time you kissed me in front of your dad.
the sun still burns my lips every summer and i still grab your feet underwater,
you still exist and somehow i do too.
i love you again. the green is my favorite color.

Shaw (he/it) is a seventeen year old soon to be at The Oxbow School in Napa, CA. He enjoys taking film photos, making zines for important people in his life, and writing about albums it enjoys.